Shalee Lianne Cerra > slips out the door and waits for him.
MantelGlobalIndustries > follows her out and lingers where she is.
Shalee Lianne Cerra > glances down the walkway to make certain that they were alone before stepping closer. She moves elegantly as she tips her chin up, her eyes lingering on his. She stares at him for the briefest of moments as if waiting...
MantelGlobalIndustries > gazes down into her eyes, narrowing the distance between the two to a very short distance. He raises his hand up towards her face, softly stroking her cheek. His head tilts slowly to the side as they stare off at each other.
Shalee Lianne Cerra > inhales a shallow breath, holding herself immobile as he strokes her cheek. Her head tilts ever-so-slightly, angling as if she were preparing herself to be kissed. Waiting. Her heart thumps at an erratic pace, but he has to be the one to kiss her, to prove her theory correct.
MantelGlobalIndustries > fingers drape down her cheek, running under her jawline. They lift her chin up ever so gently. with his other hand curling around the small of her back. His own heart is pounding away like a pneumatic drill hammering on concrete. His eyes close slowly and his lips lean into hers, pressing against them.
Shalee Lianne Cerra > heavy-lidded eyes close as she feels his lips press against hers. Any doubt that he was a spy for her ex dissipates the moment she feels his mouth upon hers. She arches against him, warm and feminine as she brushes her lips against his with infinite tenderness.
MantelGlobalIndustries > holds her close to him, not that he needed to give her any assistance in doing so. The fingers that supported her chin trace a path along her neck up so that he may grasp the back of her head, ruffling her hair. Although he doesn't want to, his lips are withdrawn from hers after a fleeting, but enjoyable moment. Still, he takes his time in doing so! I knew you'd skip dinner for dessert..." He breathes almost wordlessly.
Shalee Lianne Cerra > laughs a soft little sound, every irritable thought, every annoying doubt having been soothed by the simple kiss. He has calmed her to the point that she sighs. "Sorry. I just had to know." She pulls away and smoothes her hands down her sundress, a nervous habit. "We should return, I think." She nods her head to the cafe.
MantelGlobalIndustries > pulls her back in after she has smoothed her wonderfully decorative dress. Oh woe, he's crumpled it again! "Perhaps we should... perhaps we should..." He whispers into her ear, purring the words. "But would it hurt if we shared a few more minutes?"
MantelGlobalIndustries > smiles. It's an affectionate look, even if he is being incredibly greedy right now.
Shalee Lianne Cerra > grins as he pulls her closer once more. "I suppose another moment or two won't hurt." Plus, she liked the feel of his arms and the warmth of his breath against her ear-- it sent a frisson of desire snaking down her spine. A dangerous feeling, especially since she barely knows him, and yet, she's so keen on trusting him. Her arms slip around his waist.
MantelGlobalIndustries > smile broadens into a grin too, as he does kiss her again... but this time on the neck below the ear in which he whispered his honeyed words. More followed, creating a path that led to her lips once more. He's obsessed and yet he cannot help himself! Any qualms he may have had have long since been vanquished, as his arms encircle her back.
Shalee Lianne Cerra > curls her fingers into the fabric of his shirt as she offers him her mouth, enjoying the erotic sensations humming through her blood. She sighs into his mouth, a sweet sound of surrender. She deepens the kiss, kissing him until she is almost breathless before she pulls back simply to catch her breath.
MantelGlobalIndustries > grasps the back of her dress, holding on to steady her as she very nearly caused the both of them to asphyxiate with the passion flowing between them. He inhales deeply, exhaling with an equally deep movement through his nose, his eyes resting on hers. Is he letting her regain her stamina or is he done? Who knows.
Shalee Lianne Cerra > wonders if he can feel the galloping of her heart beating wildly against her chest. Her blue eyes stare unblinking into his as she tries to force her heart rate to slow to a trot. A pang of longing shoots through her and she wants more but knows that it is so very risky. She should force herself to pull away but doesn't. She is immobile.
MantelGlobalIndustries > "Blink... I'll still be here." He waits for her to collect herself. The outside of a coffee shop isn't exactly the best place for anything further to happen.
Shalee Lianne Cerra > laughs, the lustful mood abating. "I'm sorry." She drops her gaze, embarrassed.
MantelGlobalIndustries > titters. "You're sorry? I didn't realize you had transgressed against me..." He speaks in a hushed tone, ruffling the auburn strands of her hair with a freed hand.
Shalee Lianne Cerra > I don't know what to make of you.
MantelGlobalIndustries > is quick to reassure her. "Do you want to know what I make of you?"
Shalee Lianne Cerra > gives a little nod of her head.
MantelGlobalIndustries > leans in, as if to impart a most secret bit of information. "A splendid kisser."
Shalee Lianne Cerra > laughs, enjoying every moment with him. The shadow of her ex suddenly falls across her thoughts and she pulls back slightly. If he wasn't working for him, then he needed to be warned. "I... want to tell you something, if I may."
MantelGlobalIndustries > nods twice. "Go ahead."
Shalee Lianne Cerra > "I was worried that you might have been working for my ex-husband... he is a jealous man. We aren't together, but he doesn't want to accept that. Anyhow. By you kissing me, I am assured that you can't be working for him. Therefore... you might... want to be aware." A look of fear clouds her eyes. "He's a dangerous man."
MantelGlobalIndustries > head bobs as he processes that new bit of information. "I can see why he would be a bit possessive, you know." A rogue hand trails up her back and over her shoulder. "And envy would only be natural. I think I can handle him, whomever he is..." He sounds confident, but whether he is or not is another question. "Besides, don't secret agents of others do whatever it takes to get into bed with the foe?" He chuckles. "Whether that is taken literally or not..."
Shalee Lianne Cerra > lays her hands against his chest and sighs, "Don't toy with me. I can't bear it. I've driven myself mad wondering what your agenda has been all this time." She absently trails her fingers over the fabric of his shirt. "It's more than a bit possessive..." her brows draw together. "He is uhm... murderous. Rather, has been. If he knows of this... kiss, or whatever this is, then he might threaten you." Or, literally, everyone I know.
Shalee Lianne Cerra > Perhaps we should keep it a secret.
MantelGlobalIndustries > feels her hands rest on him, bringing her close for an embrace. "A poor joke and I apologize." He perches his chin on her head, just as someone used to do to him a very long time ago. "If that would make you feel more confident and safe, then we can. I do not wish for you to be uncomfortable if I am around."
MantelGlobalIndustries > grins again. "Does this mean I have to use the secret tunnel in the cellar of the castle to gain entry in the dead of night?"
Shalee Lianne Cerra > "I wish for you to be comfortable." She is suddenly filled with doubt when he claims that he will keep it a secret. Perhaps he wasn't strong enough to withstand whatever lies in her future. She pulls back, "No, of course not. Anyhow, I should get back inside. We can talk about things later at some point."
MantelGlobalIndustries > "Aw, I was kind of hoping I would! We should, yes. I'll need to head off, but... it was wonderful seeing you tonight."
Shalee Lianne Cerra > nods with a little blush coloring her cheeks and throat. "Goodbye, Edward." She wiggles her fingers at him before heading for the entrance to the cafe.
MantelGlobalIndustries > flushes red, placing his hand over his heart and then towards her. He makes his way back to his ship.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Helicity Boson, a well known pirate and blogger asked for us to share our stories (on his blog here), and that got me musing on how I came to EVE, on how my story really began.
I've told the tale over the years but usually I'd leave out various details, inwardly cringing while I lied by obmission.
But this is EVE, a dark, strange, and beautiful world where people lie and do bad things so I'd brush it off, tucking the truth away in the back of my mind.
It's a game, right? So what does it really matter how it all really happened....
Spring of 2009, my friend Andrew had finally worn me down, making me promise to try this game he was constantly playing.
Our conversations usually went something like this:
Him: "Omg get an account on EVE already!"
Him: "You will love it I know you will!"
Me: "But it's...you know...spaceships."
Him: *dramatic sigh*
As we treked down the dusty roads of the Barrens in World of Warcraft, he would regale me of epic space battles. As I stopped to pick flowers in the lush forests of Silvermoon, he would be linking me EVE game trailers.
I was already vaguely familiar with EVE, having found the website years prior. I remember browsing the gallery, marveling at the beauty of space. I listened to the soundtrack, even read some of the fanfic stories.
But a part of me resisted trying it because I wasn't much of a gamer at the time (this was before I got suckered into playing WoW) though I was definately intrigued.
Finally what drew me in was a story he mentioned about how someone infiltrated a corporation and stayed there for nearly a year, then betrayed them by stealing everything and had the CEO murdered! He linked me to an article and said "this is EVE".
I took the bait and was hooked.
Though we had fun on WoW, I couldn't help but be entranced by the idea of loss in EVE. He explained how brutal things were within the game, that if you got your ship blown up, that was it, there was no respawn. No magic bags to carry your stuff around, that wherever you left your stuff thats where it remained til you went back and got it.
He went on to tell me that he was creating his own corporation called Clubs and Diamonds [CLADI] and that it was going to be a merc corp and that if I joined EVE, I could be his spy girl.
Naturally my thoughts went to the article, of how I could be just like Istvaan Shogaatsu! A digital female James Bond, how exciting!
I made my first account and eagerly signed in, ready for the drama! The intrigue! The chance to make my mark on this dark and alluring game!
...and then he signed me up for a carebear corporation that mined.
I pouted a bit because I was stuck pew pewing rocks while he was off in 'null sec', whatever that mysterious and dangerous place was.
Fine, whatever. I learned the very basics of flying around while he was creating the new corporation.
By the time he had it set up and had his first contract, he was finally ready for me to join him...but by now I had gotten to know the miners and was somewhat reluctant to leave them!
We had a bit of back and forth:
Him: "This is why I brought you to EVE!"
Me: "But but but I like these guys! They are so nice!"
Him: "Do you really want to shoot rocks the rest of your EVE career?"
I decided to make my second account. I created Shalee Lianne and within a few days I applied to the corporation that [CLADI] was going to wardec.
Andrew had me research the corporation and I was absolutely thrilled to find out it was a roleplaying corp! I was eager to infiltrate, eager to play the part of spy because it was just roleplay, I easily justified it to myself.
The corporation was Pratoria Imperialis Excubitoris [PIE] of the Amarr Militia.
It took two weeks to get accepted into the corp because a character had to be at least 14 days old. During that time I would sit and chat to members in their public channel.
One of them, Dante Chance, thought I was some sort of Minmatar spy.
I giggled, having no idea what a Minmatar even was. He asked me to get on voice comms to prove that I really was a girl and as clueless as I pretended to be.
We fleeted, he took me around space, taught me how to align and warp (which I already knew from my mining days) but I feigned the helpless girl and by the end of the night, he was vouching for me on my application. I had no problem at all telling him I wasn't a Minmatar spy.
However, as the days passed, I started to have mixed feelings. Was it lying or just rping?
Finally it was time to be interviewed and I was allowed in.
This was an interesting time, settling into the corporation, getting to know the players, and finding out that 'militia' meant living in low sec and getting shot at.
The nerve of some people, shooting me!
The [CLADI] wardec went live and we were instructed to fly smart by the PIE admirality.
Meanwhile, I had been gathering as much intel as I could. Most of it was pretty basic stuff, home systems and fleet comps and member names. I would email Andrew (EVE name, Vonlin) at least ten times a day with mostly useless info because I was so new to the game, I didn't know what was important and what wasn't.
Up until this point, the [CLADI] guys had no idea I was working with them. Vonlin thought it best to keep it a secret because it being EVE, you never really know who you can trust, right?
The first night of the wardec was pretty thrilling. I jumped onto vent hoping to tell Vonlin about something and found the guys engaging someone from PIE. (Vonlin hadn't logged on yet) Since I knew what was happening from the PIE side I told the guys and accidently blew my cover.
Oh well. It made it easier to report intel, anyhow.
The guys ended up naming me Operative Sigh.
Though 'we' were winning the war, a part of me started to feel really bad about things. My spying was less about roleplaying and more about lying.
Starting out, I knew that joining PIE was just a 'job' and that betrayal was part of that job, however I couldn't shake off how bad it was making me feel.
It was everything I thought it wasn't going to be. It was depressing, deceitful, and I ended up hating it.
Instead of fulfilling my grandeur dreams of spygirl extraordinaire, I ended up being miserable by the end of the war.
I had to tell someone what I had done.
During this time I'd been roleplaying with Zenton Karvash, who at the time was in PIE with me. I told him via roleplay, in-character.
It was a risk, certainly. Maybe a part of me was hoping he would tell our superiors, another was hoping he would just keep the secret to himself.
He kept it.
At the end of the wardec I had to make a choice. Vonlin asked me to quit and prepare for our next wardec.
I thought about leaving militia and tried to imagine how things would be if I were to continue on as a spy.
I realized I had grown too attached to the Amarr Militia. I liked flying around in my tech 1 fit punisher blasting away at the rats in the plexes. I liked roleplaying and I liked the people I had grown to know.
I just couldn't do it. I didn't want to leave and I knew myself well enough to know that I couldn't justify spying as roleplaying any longer. If it were just in character, maybe. But spying requires you to lie to the players, not just the characters. There's nothing clever or exciting about being that kind of person, at least to me.
So I decided to stay and play the game without Vonlin and the rest of the guys. Sure, there was always a fear of being exposed because the CLADI guys knew my secret but I decided to risk it. I trusted them enough and really, roleplay didn't really matter to them anyhow.
The one thing I didn't factor on was having someone outside of CLADI knowing the truth. The guy who placed the contract on PIE was privy to my identity and after so many months, he contacted me.
He knew everything. At first he complimented my skills...and then he threatened to out me to my superiors if I didn't agree to infiltrate another corporation to steal something for him.
At the time it seemed horrific. All I could think of was losing everything I had worked for in Amarr Militia, of how I would never be trusted again. Integrity was everything in PIE. I was certain I would be kicked out or worse. After all, this was a group of rpers which meant that I could be hunted by the Inquisitors. They could even forbid the other members to talk to me! I could have lost my rank in PIE, my corp, and my friends. Naturally I was devestated.
I told Vonlin how I was being blackmailed and he took care of things somehow or other. He never told me how, only that he did.
My secret was safe again. I told only a handful of other people since then, who as far as I know have kept it to themselves all this time. It's not a secret anymore, rather, part one of my confessions as an Amarrian roleplayer.
So there you have it, my story of how I came to play EVE.
Friday, June 24, 2011